AutoCorrect Butt-Text

So this is awkward but my butt sent me a text filled with the Autocorrect composition below and I’m pretty sure it’s a MESSAGE from the beyond.

hey man i was a good time i is that you are coming home ๐Ÿก is the day i i will you like a great ๐Ÿ‘ way home game for a good night out there for me haha ๐Ÿ˜† is that the way to do that you can do a better life than your life you are not going through the same things over and youcan do that you are not going through your own and i is that we can get the same thing to come back so i will you get us a new home ๐Ÿก this week we are all about it haha ๐Ÿ˜† was a way to go homecoming๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคจโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿง๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคค๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ‘ฝโ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ‘บโ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ผโ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ผ๐Ÿ˜พ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿค’๐Ÿก is a fun day and the home owoeueyeuiwyy was one day we were goingthrough the same thing we had to do it all we can go there we were reuueyrtrueu we had a urieueyeeueyeu we had a good night ๐Ÿ˜ด was we all had a great time there we are all the best and queues are we will definitely go there to get them to our next week we will always have thesame experience with them all our love and the best way to get the team we will be back to try the next time i is we get the kids and we will be there for our kids and we have wiwiwiwiwuwu our day and they will always be there for

Well, what do you know? As it turns out, my ass is far out.

Will I Forget

As breath fails and body withers

As I transition to the ever after

Will I forget how much I love you?

Will I forget the laughter we’ve shared?

Those crucial moments that have forged our indelible bond?

In life, we’re exposed to many systems of belief and a sea of empty promises

Pedantic dogma to which people of reason cannot blindly subscribe or entertain

Tis hubris and folly to pretend to understand what lies across that final threshold

Although, admittedly, it is ever our responsibility to grasp at those straws

Humankind is just not that wise yet

To that end, although it offers no reassurance

I embrace the not knowing

All that is sure and assured is that I am here, in this moment, right now

Recognizing that precious and precarious truth

I find the courage to be my true self

I will seize this opportunity to confide that

I love you, and more

And will, for as long as I am able

The day will come when this fragile body fails and my soul departs

But even then, I will carry you with me

If not in memory, in the undeniable, transformative impact you’ve had on my being

There is no me without you

Or, rather, I would not be who I am without you

I will miss you, my love

Even if and when I lack the capacity to do so

Our bond has been etched upon my being, my soul

And your presence has enriched my life in countless ways

For that, I will be forever grateful

Even in the lack of that capacity

One truth we can understand is that energy cannot be created or destroyed

But it does change forms

Beyond this primitive collection of cells that exist with shared purpose

We are beings of light and energy

A soul, a spirit, a consciousness… undefinable

That must somehow transcend and persevere

As temporal forms fail, our essence must go out

To find and join that mysterious beyond

Which leads me to wonder…

What is that transition like?

Perhaps it’s a moment of pure bliss

Absolute understanding and recognition and appreciation

Of purpose fulfilled

Or will we instead find regret…

Perhaps we will focus on what is lost or incomplete

Or maybe, we will feel a sense of atonement and acceptance…

For the struggle and perseverance of a life, endured

Or maybe itโ€™s more simple

An ending of sorts

Absolute closure

The end of caring, the end of fear, the end of doubt

That brings a momentary gift of understanding, and relief

Whatever that moment affords us, whenever it finds me

It will not change or remove the connection between you and I

As I leave this world, if indeed I leave first

Be assured that I leave it better for having known you

Tears may come, but don’t waste those on regret

For what may have been said or done differently

Be assured, the image I carry of you is so perfectly formed

So perfectly loved…

That I would have it no other way

You will always be my son, my daughter, my lover, my parent or my beloved sister

Nothing that has happened or will happen

Can detract from or diminish what you have meant to me

The living shall bear the burden of remembrance

Wisdom and perspective… those belong only to those who’ve moved on

I hope you find some solace in knowing that…

Wherever I am

I finally understand

And I have found peace

As you and others gather to say goodbye

Please know that I love and appreciate each of you

And the moments we shared were not in vain

Though you may reap the pain of loss

Find a way to sow those bittersweet fields of gratefulness

For the opportunity to have shared time

To have shared love

If you find yourself mired in the unspoken communion of lament

Please be assured that you are not alone

For even as we must all someday depart

Our connection remains, and there are many new ones that have yet to take form

You can honor me by carrying the best parts of us forward

Let our love for each other continue to be a light in this world

A glimmer of hope that allows you to more deeply treasure each relationship, moving forward

Perhaps you will be more present, and notice and appreciate those poignant moments

And occasionally, perhaps… you will pause

To appreciate the moments we shared, as they come

Perhaps youโ€™ll think of me, and smile

Donโ€™t let the memories of our time together pull you out to sea

But rather, let them crash over you like waves to the shore

And though we may not be able to laugh together again

Be assured that our souls remain entwined

Never to be unbound

Because of you, my heart is full

And wherever I am

Even if I am alone in the cold dark

I carry you with me

And I will fill the void with our love

Santa’s Farewell

This morning as I was getting ready for work I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. My nine-year-old son stood outside in the hallway. He had a timid, thoughtful look that led me to immediately think ‘Oh crap, what broke.’

He hesitated, gathering his words, then in a soft voice asked ‘Dad… some kids at school… some of them were saying that Santa isn’t real. Is.. is that true?’

Now, like all parents, I knew this was coming. Eventually. Yet in that moment the question caught me flat-footed. As I looked into his eyes, I debated the best way to handle it. Clearly he’d been struggling with this for a while before he mustered the courage to share it.

‘Well, buddy… people believe different things. That doesn’t make them true or not true. We all have to decide what we believe for ourselves. I certainly believe in Santa, but it’s really up to you to choose what you believe.’

After a moment of consideration, his face softened. A broad, sincere smile emerged. With great relief, I realized I had somehow successfully navigated the situation and hit the snooze button on his innocence.

We shared a hug, and as I watched him turn and head back down the hall, my eyes began to well up. The magic was slipping away. I wasn’t ready for that.

A clear and sudden pang of loss arose within my chest.

There it was. The broken thing.

Outside, Together

I’m not part of the club
They look upon me with scorn
It’s abundantly clear
And yet, I don’t mourn

Not that I haven’t tried
To measure up, but I’ve failed
Awkward as I am
They watch with glee as I’ve flailed

Just be yourself
So they say, and they lie
For to bare your own soul
Is the worst way to die

So then try to fit in
Laugh at all of their jokes
Hide yourself in their shadow
Until one of you chokes

Be false, and ascend
To that fools paradise
But understand the illusion
Must come at a price

To thine ownself be true
Doesn’t play in this sphere
Noble, and perhaps right
It rings hollow in here

But those of us different
Are the shapers of time
We’re the loneliest of sorts
But we taste the divine

So when you feel outside
Like a misfit puzzle piece
Please know what that means
Be yourself, never cease

Seek a truth that’s within
Find your passion and know
That the world is not ready
But through you, shall it grow

Black Lives Matter To U.S.

‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’

A bold statement, put forth by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration Of Independence, that represents the core concept our nation was founded on. Very progressive for the time, yet in retrospect we can’t help but see it for it’s flaws. The subtle, undeniable taint of racial hypocrisy and sexism detracts from the underlying virtue of the thought behind it.

We’ll have to forgive that imperfect document because it planted the hopeful seed that bloomed into the American dream. The founders struggle against tyranny, the pursuit of religious and economic freedoms and the protection of the rights each citizen under the law are among the most American of ideals, in spite of any recent propaganda to the contrary.

The Revolution that started this country also marked the beginning of a cultural evolution. Our system of government was founded almost in anticipation of the series of civilized sea changes that would follow. Those disenfranchised communities, ignored and excluded in the founding documents, eventually had their own version of the Declaration Of Independence in the form of a Constitutional Amendment.

Eventually we arrived upon the collective conclusion that it’s only just and proper that each individual should have the same rights and protection under the law. Today there’s an overwhelming majority of us who agree this is the goal we should be striving for, that ensuring this is not only the right thing to do, it serves our collective self-interest.

We each now share the solemn, patriotic duty to stand-up and demand equal treatment not only for ourselves but for others who may not yet enjoy those same privileges. We’re further down the path now than ever before towards achieving the goal of equality, but we are also very clearly not there yet.

I’m not black. I won’t pretend to know what that feels like, but I can recognize injustice when I see it. I don’t see how anyone could watch a video of a man being slowly killed by someone whose job it is to protect and serve the community and not be angry. Anyone with a shred of decency should be horrified and disgusted by that, especially when you recognize how it fits into the ongoing pattern of social injustice.

I respect police officers. They have a difficult job, and most of them do it the right way and for the right reasons. I cannot condone the reckless use of violence and deadly force, especially disproportionately against individuals of color, but I will recognize that none of us is perfect. They may be put in a life or death situation where fear and adrenaline may cause them to make a rash and regrettable decision. There’s undoubtedly cases where a lack of training, fear for one’s life and a loaded firearm have led to a terrible and unintended outcome. But this was not that. Not at all.

I see nothing but hate in that video. There’s no empathy there, just pure, vitriolic, dehumanizing bile. It’s uncomfortable to witness because it means as far as we’ve come, that type of ugliness can still exist within us. We all need to recognize and confront that in our own way, because we can’t live in a world where that’s okay. I share the anger and frustration that’s so clearly shown in these recent protests. This cannot continue.

I can also understand why many are anxious to turn the page. Issues involving race can be uncomfortable, but we can’t close our eyes and expect the world to change. What we do next means something. We cannot and should not lose focus until we have taken action and put the proper guardrails in place to ensure this never happens again. In order to ensure our future together, we need to make it absolutely crystal clearโ€ฆ THAT is not who we are. That. Cannot. Stand.

The past is filled with pain, and while we cannot undo it, we must learn from it. We can’t just flip a switch and solve this problem, but we can take steps today to build a better tomorrow. As tempting as it is to retreat from all the tribalism and ugliness, none of us can afford sit this one out. Because if you’re not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

We should recognize this as part of a continuum stretching back to the dawn of our species. We’re battling for the very soul of humanity. As such, we must iterate and continue to strive towards the propagation, preservation and protection of it’s most noble ideals: truth, justice, integrity and equality. Regardless of our race or gender or sexual orientation, we all have a role to play. Whether these recent events have made you feel shame or anger or guilt or fear, or all those emotions at the same time, consider that your call to action. You are a good person. Help push us forward.

But what can we do other than march? Many changes don’t require a sign or a megaphone. You can start by listening and learning, educating yourself on the facts or understanding the perspective of others. You can write your representatives or show your support on social media. Or it can even be even more subtle, modifying your behavior and your interactions with others.

Speaking personally, there have been moments in my life where people have uttered a racist joke or comment in my presence. When I heard those words and recognized the thoughts behind them it was jarring, and I remember feeling a wave of shock and disgust sweep through me. I felt physically sick, and I instantly lost all respect for those individuals.

What I regret most is that I did not have the courage in that moment to confront that hatred, to speak-up and correct the record. Only in retrospect do I recognize how my silence could have been interpreted as assent, and the fact I missed that opportunity to potentially make a difference fills me with shame.

People of good conscience can’t continue to allow those hateful thoughts go unchallenged. To be silent, to be still is to be complicit in the perpetuation of that hateful ideology. It is not okay to mock or diminish someone because of their race, gender or LGBTQ status, and we need for them to know that. Immediately.

There are those among us that fear change, that are convinced that disrupting the status quo somehow threatens their opportunities or the cultural identity of our country. But as we’ve seen over and over, the right side of history is the one that leans toward progress. You can find that in the Dream of Martin Luther King, the imagination of John Lennon, the leadership of John F. Kennedy and the courage of Rosa Parks.

One hundred years from now, I hope history will say we recognized this moment and did not shrink. Let them see how we stepped forward, together, to confront the societal cancers of injustice and hate.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: We are all equal, and each of us should fight to ensure and protect the unalienable, civil rights of our fellow individuals.

And Liberty And Justice For All.